Thursday, May 28, 2009

The short story about me...

Tomorrow is a sad day for me.

Two short years ago, when I was 17, I fell in love with this guy...and I got pregnant. He was my first. And I loved (still love) him and he loved (still loves) me and we knew we would get married. He lived 3 hours away and would come down to see me every 2 weeks and then every weekend. He was 19 and in college when I got pregnant. When school was over and I was 7 months pregnant, he came to live with my family and I. The whole journey was an amazing experience. I've grown so much as a person because of it. Where I used to be weak and naive, I have become strong and smart. I had to grow up fast, but I love my little girl so much and I would never have it any other way.

So why am I sad you ask?

My fiance, her daddy, hasn't gotten a job. He lives here and survives off of financial aid from school. And when that runs out, mommy and daddy come to the rescue. I've put up with it for far too long. And the small amount of money my parents require him to pay for "rent" just isn't enough anymore. Aside from money, there are some other issues between us - primarily his selfish tendencies and lack of maturity.

I know you must be thinking, "She loves this guy?" I do. And that's why tomorrow (and today for that matter) is so sad. I know that I am the only one he wants to be with and that he loves me and he ADORES his little girl...but true love means sacrifice and I don't see that. My father gave me 10 days to tell him that he needed to go home (because of the finances) and I waited the full 10 days. So tomorrow, I'm sending him back home. It's a separation. He can visit us monthly. Hopefully he'll get a job and start to grow up. Start to be a man. He's 21 for God's sake! And if not........need I say more?

If anyone is reading this, please I ask you to pray for us. Hopefully he'll grow up, but I'm not counting on it :(

So, sorry to be all melancholy and full of angst but I'm going through a rough time. I doubt you'll hear from me tomorrow. Hope all is well with everyone - and don't worry, this sad post is a one-time thing.

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